Desmoids are crappy

So - contrary to what the husband has recommended, I have spent a bit of time researching and reading about Desmoids.

He was right. It's not good for my head!

Needless to say that i have had a pretty crappy weekend. And I still haven't heard from my specialist. And that makes me even more crappier!

I've written out my list of questions to ask her, and it's getting longer the more that I read on the interwebs. I'm guessing it's time to stop!

My dreams have been filled with hair loss and operations - not very restful at all! And I haven't even been given the options of treatment yet.

Another thing that is confusing me (mostly from other blogs) is whether or not this thing IS cancer. SOme are saying yes and others are saying no. The Princess (18 year old daughter) had some words of wisdom for that this morning. "Well, it doesn't matter really does it? You know that it is not going to kill you and so all we can focus on is getting it out of you and treated. It doesn't change anything to put a label on it."

Smart girl.

But in the process of all of this stress, I have spent the majority of the day in bed with a migraine. Yay. And now I have a upset tummy. Double yay. Let me tell you - I am feeling all kinds of special today!!!!

Hugs Meg

It IS a tumor!!!!!

Ever seen Kindergarten Cop? That little kid that always thinks that things are a tumor? We love that and a huge joke in our house whenever anyone is in pain is that "It's a tumor"!

Well - this time it is!

It is actually a deep musculoaponeurotic fibromatosis. Yeah - I cant pronounce it either! Of course the first thing to do is to Google that sucker - and I think that this is a benign tumor also called a Desmoid tumor, very rare - lucky me! The husband is still debating whether it is a Desmond  and of course until I hear back from the specialist I wont know for sure.

This is what I had thought it was the first time that I heard the specialist mention it. I think God was preparing me for this. It needs to be treated like a cancer because it is invasive and will continue to recur, but not metastasize which means it wont grow into other areas of the body. Yay!

I've spent so many hours on the interwebs looking up research and just over the past day or so have become obsessed with other people's blogs. The husband is concerned that I am getting obsessed with this - and I think that is probably true. But from what I can gather, this will be life changing for me, and us as a family.

And can I just say - I think that it's sucky that the specialist is taking her sweet time to get back to me. We have had the results for over a week now - way too much time for me to sit at the computer and find out all the horrid stuff that I might have to endure. My anxiety is, understandable, high and I think that is what is freaking the hubster out.

So - treatment varies so widely that I just cant get a handle on what we might do. Surgery is still a preferred treatment - but this sucker (Fred) has gotten a hold of two of my hamstrings and so I am not willing to go through with surgery only to have him grow back. SO I am thinking chemo and radiation - but we have to wait on this specialist.

So onto running news... I have kept up the running, but have kept my pace slow - really slow! Yesterday I did 3 miles on the treadmill at a pace between 12 and 12.5 minutes per mile, and that is pretty comfortable. The rest of the week I have kept it even slower at about 13.5 while I am outside. Just enjoying the runs.

This morning the son and I will be running a 5k that his school district is putting on. We ran together on Sunday and did the 5k's so that he would know what to expect. He needs a walk break about every quarter mile, so that makes it a very relaxed run for me. I love that we can do this together. Maybe it will become 'our' thing!

Should be a fun morning running with the son.

Hugs Meg

Lessons learnt from ald old man walking.

My biopsy is Wednesday. SO I needed to make sure that I can get all the running in that I can before then.

Well - run/walk. I've been having a bit of pain in my right calf, and so I had been doing more of the Galloway method of run - walk - run method. I set my Garmin to 2 minutes run and then 1 minute walk intervals and I set off. And that was how I had run my last two runs. It was better on my calf/shin so I thought that I would be so much better on Monday.

So Monday I  had the Princess (why thanks - I know I don't look old enough to have an 18 year old!) to drop me off at the end of the trail about 6 miles from home. So I set off.

Pretty, isn't it? I am loving Colorado in Autumn!

Way. Too. Fast.

Now for me, 12 1/2 minute miles are fast. I know - I'm slow! But remember that I've only been running since January. AND I'm still 50lbs overweight. So I'm trying not to be too hard on myself.

So of course I found it hard to do more than 2 miles. So I walked about half a mile and then walked a bit more - walked a bit and then hobbled for another half mile. This was so painful. My cadence was down and I was just plain hurting. So I walked another half mile to the next mile marker and decided that I would try the run/walk/run thing to at least get me home.

Enter the old man walking.

When I was walking - I was walking s.l.o.w. And I do mean slow! But as I finished my second little run, he passed me as I was walking. He was booking it. SO I thought "Why not try to keep up with him?" He was probably waling at about 14 1/5 minute per mile. Which is a nice slow pace to run at.

So - I did. And it felt  great! Enter the AHA moment.

I have been running way too fast and way too far for where I am at. I have read a lot of training books, and blogs, and articles and yet I still managed to make one of the biggest rookie mistakes. Too fast and too long.

SO - lesson learnt. My runs will be a lot slower .. and today's was. I did my favourite 3 miles out and back. I forgot my Garmin so I have to guess at my time.But I took it nice and slow and if I had to guess I would say it was in the 14 - 14 1/2 minute range. My calf didn't scream at me and it felt great. SO if this is my last run for a while - I will have a great memory of it!



Hugs Meg

Running down a Diagnosis

Where to start?
Huh.
Well - I'm still running. I managed to finish the Denver Double on my birthday in July. We ran a 10k and then 30 minutes later ran a 5k. I got to cross off two things on my bucket list that day! My first 10k, AND coming last in a race! Fun.

But now the reason for the title.
We went to New Orleans in June and met up with my sister, brother-in-law and my nephew (the chef. That meat we ate our way through NOLA!)
While we were there I explained about a lump that I have on the back of my right leg and how that was starting to affect my running. I couldn't stretch properly and so my Hamstrings were starting to tense up a bit.
Baz had a fit and 'paid' for me to visit the doctor when they left.
Being the good sister in law that I am, I did so.

That was over 9 weeks ago.

Now I dont want to get caught up in a fight about medical practices in different countries, but suffice it to say that even though everyone I have dealt with in Kaiser has been wonderful (especially my PCP) the red tape is insane.

I have had an MRI (inconclusive) and been sent to see an orthopedic specialist. Who was a surgeon, orthopedic specialist. Oh - and did we forget to tell you that she was an award winning ONCOLOGIST orthopedic surgeon specialist??? Yep - now THAT would have been nice to know, peeps.

And what did said oncologist, orthopedic surgeon specialist have to say about my lump? (We have named him Fred  for the time being) "Well - that's unusual." Uh hu - very NOT helpful!

So now - I am trying to get a biopsy. You would think that would be an easy feat. Apparently not. But they are thinking either Tuesday or Wednesday.

So that's where we are up to right now. I will continue to run until they tell me not to!


Hugs Meg

Starting 30 day shred after bronchitis

Bronchitis sucks! I know that all of you that have had it know what I am talking about. SO I have been laid low since Thursday... lots of time to get hooked on the last season of The Biggest Loser. I had forgotten how much I love that show.

Lillian Michaels may be my hero.... but I still hate it when she yells at me on the Wii!!!!!!

But because I had so much down time, and because of my love of all things Jillian, I started doing some surfing and came across sooooooo many before and after shots from her 30 Day Shred. They were so motivateing that I decided that I would be well today and that I would start the program today!

You can get al of the workouts online and so I went for that. I think I'll still probably buy the DVD but for now YouTube it is!

I had watched the workout from bed and it didn't look too bad. And it's only about 20 minutes.... Man was that some of the hardest 20 minutes of my life! But I can't wait to see what my before and after photos look like.

These are my 'befores'...

Ugh - I so cannot wait for the afters!

My big fat belly - remember, this is after losing almost 25lb  already!

It's so hard to take side views by yourself!

Wish me luck - 30 days doesn't seem so long....


Hugs
Meg

I made it to 10% - finally!

This is what my scale looked like this morning:

Woo Hoo - I hit my 10% goal weight!

 So I was so excited because it meant that I had made my goal of 10% this week!
Imagine my utter amazement when I got to my meeting and THIS is what their scale showed:

I always thought my scale weighed heavier - WRONG!!

My leader (Debbie - LOVE her!) was a little perplexed that I would want her to take a photo of the scale - I want proof baby!!
 I celebrated in my meeting - of course!! You'll have to wait until their is someone else home to take a photo of me - because as you can see, self-portraits are not my strong suit!!

My 10% key chain. I worked hard for this thing!

I'm kinda working towards the 25 lb charm for next week - that would need to be another 2.8 lbs in a week... not sure if that is just setting myself up for failure, or a great goal to keep me motivated. I guess we will see next week - but my plan is to do the same thing as I did this week:

I am very proud of that tracker! I met my goal of not going over my daily points plus allowance, and I logged 37 activity points! That's the most ever! I'm going to try to match that again this week.
Wish me luck!!

Hugs 
Meg

Some very interesting reading

I've been devouring Katie's blog over at runsforcookies.com

I am super inspired by her story and her transparency about her weight issues. I am also intrigued by her running tales. I just can't seem to get my head around sentences like "I just went out and ran the 4 miles that I had on the schedule".  Just ran 4 miles? I'm only just now trying out intervals of 2 minutes to see if my calf can cope with it.

I really do have dreams about being able to run for 4 miles. Really truly!

Anyway - through her honest blogging, I've discovered that I indeed m a binge eater. I really just thought that  I was a glutton and had no will power over food. I had never heard anybody admitting to binge eating - but of course now that I know that it exists, I've found all sorts of information.

Here's Mayo clinic's definition.
There's even an association!
And a wiki page!

After reading this particularly insightful blog post from Katie, and reading all of the comments, I came to this book.

Brain over Binge - interesting read.

I haven't made it all the way thorough yet, but it's definitely making me rethink the way that my brain works. I'll give an update when I finish it - and see if it has helped.

As of right now I have been binge free for 2 weeks - the longest I can remember!

Hugs
Meg