Desmoids are crappy

So - contrary to what the husband has recommended, I have spent a bit of time researching and reading about Desmoids.

He was right. It's not good for my head!

Needless to say that i have had a pretty crappy weekend. And I still haven't heard from my specialist. And that makes me even more crappier!

I've written out my list of questions to ask her, and it's getting longer the more that I read on the interwebs. I'm guessing it's time to stop!

My dreams have been filled with hair loss and operations - not very restful at all! And I haven't even been given the options of treatment yet.

Another thing that is confusing me (mostly from other blogs) is whether or not this thing IS cancer. SOme are saying yes and others are saying no. The Princess (18 year old daughter) had some words of wisdom for that this morning. "Well, it doesn't matter really does it? You know that it is not going to kill you and so all we can focus on is getting it out of you and treated. It doesn't change anything to put a label on it."

Smart girl.

But in the process of all of this stress, I have spent the majority of the day in bed with a migraine. Yay. And now I have a upset tummy. Double yay. Let me tell you - I am feeling all kinds of special today!!!!

Hugs Meg

It IS a tumor!!!!!

Ever seen Kindergarten Cop? That little kid that always thinks that things are a tumor? We love that and a huge joke in our house whenever anyone is in pain is that "It's a tumor"!

Well - this time it is!

It is actually a deep musculoaponeurotic fibromatosis. Yeah - I cant pronounce it either! Of course the first thing to do is to Google that sucker - and I think that this is a benign tumor also called a Desmoid tumor, very rare - lucky me! The husband is still debating whether it is a Desmond  and of course until I hear back from the specialist I wont know for sure.

This is what I had thought it was the first time that I heard the specialist mention it. I think God was preparing me for this. It needs to be treated like a cancer because it is invasive and will continue to recur, but not metastasize which means it wont grow into other areas of the body. Yay!

I've spent so many hours on the interwebs looking up research and just over the past day or so have become obsessed with other people's blogs. The husband is concerned that I am getting obsessed with this - and I think that is probably true. But from what I can gather, this will be life changing for me, and us as a family.

And can I just say - I think that it's sucky that the specialist is taking her sweet time to get back to me. We have had the results for over a week now - way too much time for me to sit at the computer and find out all the horrid stuff that I might have to endure. My anxiety is, understandable, high and I think that is what is freaking the hubster out.

So - treatment varies so widely that I just cant get a handle on what we might do. Surgery is still a preferred treatment - but this sucker (Fred) has gotten a hold of two of my hamstrings and so I am not willing to go through with surgery only to have him grow back. SO I am thinking chemo and radiation - but we have to wait on this specialist.

So onto running news... I have kept up the running, but have kept my pace slow - really slow! Yesterday I did 3 miles on the treadmill at a pace between 12 and 12.5 minutes per mile, and that is pretty comfortable. The rest of the week I have kept it even slower at about 13.5 while I am outside. Just enjoying the runs.

This morning the son and I will be running a 5k that his school district is putting on. We ran together on Sunday and did the 5k's so that he would know what to expect. He needs a walk break about every quarter mile, so that makes it a very relaxed run for me. I love that we can do this together. Maybe it will become 'our' thing!

Should be a fun morning running with the son.

Hugs Meg

Lessons learnt from ald old man walking.

My biopsy is Wednesday. SO I needed to make sure that I can get all the running in that I can before then.

Well - run/walk. I've been having a bit of pain in my right calf, and so I had been doing more of the Galloway method of run - walk - run method. I set my Garmin to 2 minutes run and then 1 minute walk intervals and I set off. And that was how I had run my last two runs. It was better on my calf/shin so I thought that I would be so much better on Monday.

So Monday I  had the Princess (why thanks - I know I don't look old enough to have an 18 year old!) to drop me off at the end of the trail about 6 miles from home. So I set off.

Pretty, isn't it? I am loving Colorado in Autumn!

Way. Too. Fast.

Now for me, 12 1/2 minute miles are fast. I know - I'm slow! But remember that I've only been running since January. AND I'm still 50lbs overweight. So I'm trying not to be too hard on myself.

So of course I found it hard to do more than 2 miles. So I walked about half a mile and then walked a bit more - walked a bit and then hobbled for another half mile. This was so painful. My cadence was down and I was just plain hurting. So I walked another half mile to the next mile marker and decided that I would try the run/walk/run thing to at least get me home.

Enter the old man walking.

When I was walking - I was walking s.l.o.w. And I do mean slow! But as I finished my second little run, he passed me as I was walking. He was booking it. SO I thought "Why not try to keep up with him?" He was probably waling at about 14 1/5 minute per mile. Which is a nice slow pace to run at.

So - I did. And it felt  great! Enter the AHA moment.

I have been running way too fast and way too far for where I am at. I have read a lot of training books, and blogs, and articles and yet I still managed to make one of the biggest rookie mistakes. Too fast and too long.

SO - lesson learnt. My runs will be a lot slower .. and today's was. I did my favourite 3 miles out and back. I forgot my Garmin so I have to guess at my time.But I took it nice and slow and if I had to guess I would say it was in the 14 - 14 1/2 minute range. My calf didn't scream at me and it felt great. SO if this is my last run for a while - I will have a great memory of it!



Hugs Meg

Running down a Diagnosis

Where to start?
Huh.
Well - I'm still running. I managed to finish the Denver Double on my birthday in July. We ran a 10k and then 30 minutes later ran a 5k. I got to cross off two things on my bucket list that day! My first 10k, AND coming last in a race! Fun.

But now the reason for the title.
We went to New Orleans in June and met up with my sister, brother-in-law and my nephew (the chef. That meat we ate our way through NOLA!)
While we were there I explained about a lump that I have on the back of my right leg and how that was starting to affect my running. I couldn't stretch properly and so my Hamstrings were starting to tense up a bit.
Baz had a fit and 'paid' for me to visit the doctor when they left.
Being the good sister in law that I am, I did so.

That was over 9 weeks ago.

Now I dont want to get caught up in a fight about medical practices in different countries, but suffice it to say that even though everyone I have dealt with in Kaiser has been wonderful (especially my PCP) the red tape is insane.

I have had an MRI (inconclusive) and been sent to see an orthopedic specialist. Who was a surgeon, orthopedic specialist. Oh - and did we forget to tell you that she was an award winning ONCOLOGIST orthopedic surgeon specialist??? Yep - now THAT would have been nice to know, peeps.

And what did said oncologist, orthopedic surgeon specialist have to say about my lump? (We have named him Fred  for the time being) "Well - that's unusual." Uh hu - very NOT helpful!

So now - I am trying to get a biopsy. You would think that would be an easy feat. Apparently not. But they are thinking either Tuesday or Wednesday.

So that's where we are up to right now. I will continue to run until they tell me not to!


Hugs Meg

Starting 30 day shred after bronchitis

Bronchitis sucks! I know that all of you that have had it know what I am talking about. SO I have been laid low since Thursday... lots of time to get hooked on the last season of The Biggest Loser. I had forgotten how much I love that show.

Lillian Michaels may be my hero.... but I still hate it when she yells at me on the Wii!!!!!!

But because I had so much down time, and because of my love of all things Jillian, I started doing some surfing and came across sooooooo many before and after shots from her 30 Day Shred. They were so motivateing that I decided that I would be well today and that I would start the program today!

You can get al of the workouts online and so I went for that. I think I'll still probably buy the DVD but for now YouTube it is!

I had watched the workout from bed and it didn't look too bad. And it's only about 20 minutes.... Man was that some of the hardest 20 minutes of my life! But I can't wait to see what my before and after photos look like.

These are my 'befores'...

Ugh - I so cannot wait for the afters!

My big fat belly - remember, this is after losing almost 25lb  already!

It's so hard to take side views by yourself!

Wish me luck - 30 days doesn't seem so long....


Hugs
Meg

I made it to 10% - finally!

This is what my scale looked like this morning:

Woo Hoo - I hit my 10% goal weight!

 So I was so excited because it meant that I had made my goal of 10% this week!
Imagine my utter amazement when I got to my meeting and THIS is what their scale showed:

I always thought my scale weighed heavier - WRONG!!

My leader (Debbie - LOVE her!) was a little perplexed that I would want her to take a photo of the scale - I want proof baby!!
 I celebrated in my meeting - of course!! You'll have to wait until their is someone else home to take a photo of me - because as you can see, self-portraits are not my strong suit!!

My 10% key chain. I worked hard for this thing!

I'm kinda working towards the 25 lb charm for next week - that would need to be another 2.8 lbs in a week... not sure if that is just setting myself up for failure, or a great goal to keep me motivated. I guess we will see next week - but my plan is to do the same thing as I did this week:

I am very proud of that tracker! I met my goal of not going over my daily points plus allowance, and I logged 37 activity points! That's the most ever! I'm going to try to match that again this week.
Wish me luck!!

Hugs 
Meg

Some very interesting reading

I've been devouring Katie's blog over at runsforcookies.com

I am super inspired by her story and her transparency about her weight issues. I am also intrigued by her running tales. I just can't seem to get my head around sentences like "I just went out and ran the 4 miles that I had on the schedule".  Just ran 4 miles? I'm only just now trying out intervals of 2 minutes to see if my calf can cope with it.

I really do have dreams about being able to run for 4 miles. Really truly!

Anyway - through her honest blogging, I've discovered that I indeed m a binge eater. I really just thought that  I was a glutton and had no will power over food. I had never heard anybody admitting to binge eating - but of course now that I know that it exists, I've found all sorts of information.

Here's Mayo clinic's definition.
There's even an association!
And a wiki page!

After reading this particularly insightful blog post from Katie, and reading all of the comments, I came to this book.

Brain over Binge - interesting read.

I haven't made it all the way thorough yet, but it's definitely making me rethink the way that my brain works. I'll give an update when I finish it - and see if it has helped.

As of right now I have been binge free for 2 weeks - the longest I can remember!

Hugs
Meg

Breakdown of my points

I was really struggling about 2 weeks ago with going way over my points plus budget. I would get to the end of the day and would have over spent by about 10 points.

Every week at my meeting our leader asks us what small change we will try to implement for the week. Really - for 2 months straight I wrote down that I would start tracking. I had really tried to track online. I have a monthly pass so that comes with the e-Tools. But it's just so..... exact! I couldn't just quickly jot down what I had eaten, it had to be exactly what I had eaten. And that's so not me - there is really nothing about me that is exact.

Random page from last week - pretty standard 

This is last week's tracker - this is what I put on the front so that I can see what the stats were.

Just a random tracker that I could find - see - not complete!!

Then I hit on the brilliant idea of just using the paper tracker - old school. So I put it on the island in the middle of the kitchen and I could just jot it down. Much more my style because I could just come back later and figure out the points plus values. And that is when it got interesting. Lunches are a HUGE problem for me. I never plan for them and half the time I would just end up eating popcorn! And quite often that would lead to binge eating.

So then I decided to get a bit more organized about what I was eating. I thought about just buying some Smart Ones or Lean Cuisines, but because I am gluten free, there are not too many that I am able to eat. So then I did what any self-respecting web addict would do - I Googled!

I found heaps of ideas about creating my own meals for lunch - and this rocking recipe for an orange-ginger sauce for them. So I put the rice cooker on, baked some chicken and whipped up the sauce. And I made 16 of them! All for the great budget friendly price of 5 points plus!

Then of course I started thinking about budgeting my points plus budget and came up with this formula -
Breakfast = 5 points plus (that's what my oatmeal costs and I am not willing to give this up!)
Lunch = 5-7 points plus
Dinner = 10 points plus
Snacks (3) = 9
All for the grand total of 29 - 31 points plus for the day. My daily target is 27 at them moment (it will go down to 26 after I lose another half pound!) but I have found that I need an extra point or 2 to keep me feeling full. And I do try to eat a few of my exercise points on days when I exercise.

How do you break down your points plus budget?

Sidelined

I've got my first running injury. I'm just a little proud of that (I know - it's sick!)

My left calf had been hurting a bit after every run, but being the idiot that I am, I just decided that it was because it had never before been used! SO I just needed to run through it, right?
Wrong!

I thought that I'd go with the boys after school in the afternoon (I have the boys from across the street on Thursday and Friday afternoon - and of course my own boy, Will) for a run around the block. I was actually hoping to get around twice without stopping. But after the first 50 feet or so my calf hurt - a lot. I made it around once - but then had to go inside from the pain. And besides - it was freezing and the wind was hurting my ears!

After surfing around for a bit (you DO know that Google is your friend  don't you?!) I have decided to stop running at all for this next week. I have my first 5k booked on April 20th and so I want to make sure that I am better for that. And that I can continue to train!

This is what else I am doing to help -

The ice pack in the towel for my calf.

I had been icing my calf after my runs for about a week and that had definitely been helping, but I was in so much pain after Friday that I decided it's just not worth it.

So I decided to do this instead...

This has been a clothes hanger in our bedroom for years. But now it has come into it's own! I moved it in front of the TV and now I can catch up on Downton Abbey (and am in mourning a little right now!)  But it is the perfect thing for my calf as it doesn't put any stress on it at all.

I am finding it hard to know how to add this to my ActiveLink though. This morning I added it as "bicycling - high intensity". I'm a little concerned how this will impact my weight this week - I really, really want to get to my 10% LOSS......

Hugs 
Meg

Weekly weigh-in, Migraines and Binging

So first the great news! When I weighed in yesterday morning my weight was 195. That's 2.2  down from last week and only 1.4 away from my 10%. I cannot tell you how much I desperately want to get to that next week!

I haven't been weighing myself at home - so no photos, sorry - because I found that my mind plays tricks with me and if I see a 'good' number on the scales earlier in the week I let go a little and stop following the program as well.  I wonder if my receptionist will take  a photo of the scale at my meeting?!

Now onto the not very great news! When I woke up yesterday I felt a little dizzy. Strange, right? My honey had inadvertently set his alarm for 3.15am instead of 6.15am. So when that buzzed in the morning it took me ages to talk myself into getting up. Usually I am well awake before his alarm goes off, and have had at least 1 cup of coffee before I have to face anyone! (Especially the very perky 10 year old boy!!)

Needless to say, when  went to get out of bed and looked at the clock and realized it was 3.30 - i just groaned and rolled back into bed. I just couldn't sleep anymore though. I tossed and turned until 7 when I got out of bed and the dizziness started!

Thinking not at lot of it, I went through the normal morning rituals and then went to run on the treadmill. I was so determined to finish the c25k program. My last run was scheduled and I was pretty determined that I would do it. My body had other ideas however. I did manage to complete a full mile (I am still so proud of myself every time I do that!) and then just did very odd intervals after that. I finally completed the 45 minutes and covered 2.6 miles, not too bad but a long way off what I had set out to complete.

On my way to my meeting I put 2 and 2 together and realized I had a migraine!!!! It's been such a long time since I have had one - and they rarely if ever follow the 'typical' pattern, so I missed all of the signs. So - I weighed in and then came home and lay down on the couch with all the curtains drawn.

Then I went on a binge. Ugh! I had managed a full 12 days since my last one and was hoping that I would be able to control it a bit better. But obviously migraines are a bit of a danger zone - so I will need to be on my guard for the future.

This is what I looked like this morning post migraine and after 14 hours of sleep...

Not pretty at all!!

Have a great weekend.


Hugs
Meg

Biggest milestone yet!

Yesterday I managed to run 2 miles straight!!!!!

HUGE!!

Now when I look back at the last post I was super excited that I could do 10 minutes straight! Look waht a difference a month can make!

As for the gap in posting.... A confession. I am flakey. Seriously! I forgot how I set up this account and it's taken me a while to get logged back on. Told you - flakey!

But I'm back now! And this is the Week 8 Day 2 screen shot.

Now being the bad blogger that I am - of course I forgot to take a photo of myself after this momentous run. And the screen shot of the page after I had run it! I actually skipped Week 8 Day 1 because I was just so psyched to run the 2 miles. Day 1 was a 28 minute run and I was pretty sure that I could make it to the 30 minute mark OK.

The little motivational quote for this run was that I was only 1 training away from being a 5k runner! Well..... not so much. If you even have a little bit of 3rd grade math you can figure out that I am running a 15 minute mile. So at that pace it will take me 45 minutes of running to get to the 3 mile marker. I think after I finish the program (tomorrow if all things go well) then I will go back and start at about week 4 to get my pace up.

Tomorrow is my weigh in at my Weight Watchers meeting so I am really excited to see how I did. Stay tuned.....

Hugs
Megan

Running for 10 minutes straight...

...or maybe we could title this - "Things I never imagined I would do"!

This morning was week 6 day 1 - and that was 5 minute warm up, run 10, walk 5, run 10 and then cool down for 5. It was hard. Really hard. But I managed to do it with holding onto the bars for about 15 seconds. I can't tell you how proud I am of myself!

I've had a crappy food week though. Have I mentioned that gluten does not agree with my body? Did I also mention that sometimes I just give in to the cravings - and deal with the terrible bloating and pain? That's what I decided to do this week - and so I had a gain of 2.8 lbs. I was expecting that though, so it wasn't really that terrible.

I've just dropped the hubs at the airport. He will be back in Oz for 2 weeks. I'm sure I don't have to tell you how hard this will be for my food. I've already had a horrid day - and Chinese for dinner tonight  I didn't overdo it - but I'm sure that Thai chicken curry is in no way WW friendly! And there's leftovers...

I thought that I would also talk about this little gadget that has kept me both motivated and entertained for the past 10 weeks.

It's my active link. (well - to be totally honest this is a photo that I found on the internet and stole. My photos just don't turn out good enough to show you the lights!)

This thing has just gotten me to move in ways that I just never thought that I would. Walking up and down the stairs to pee comes to mind. As does squats as I unload the dishwasher. I'm telling you that getting those lights to start flashing at the end of the day is my greatest motivation to get me moving.

You can find out about them on the Active Link page, or at your meetings. I must say that I was the one in the meeting room rolling her eyes when they first told us about them. I seriously saw this as a bit of a gimmick. But once those first 8 days Assessment is done and I could really get a good look at my daily activity - it was game on!

This was today's activity. You can see when I ran - and then not too much for the rest of the day. And yet I still managed to rack up an impressive 7 points. Love it!

Let me know how your Active Link is getting you motivated!

Hugs
Megan

Running with a family crisis

Now first - I just want to toot my own horn for a bit!

I just want to say that running this this morning was one of the hardest things that I've done. So - I am justifiably proud of myself. I've also decided that it's probably not in my best interest to look too far ahead in the program!! Wednesday I am down for an 8 minute run - HOW am I ever going to manage that?

This is what my weight looked like this morning after my run, breakfast, about 1 litre of water and maybe half a pot of coffee...

... you just have to have all the facts people. You know that you are so much less when you weigh right after you wake up!

When I weighed in on Friday at my Weight Watchers meeting, I was 194.4 - bringing me up to that 20 pound marker. Another yay me moment!

Now on to the family crisis. My brother in law was t-boned on his motorbike in Australia on Wednesday night (our time) and was in critical condition in ICU. We woke up to the fantastic news that he was awake today and asking for juice! My hubster will fly out next week to be with him and the rest of his family.

What is really interesting during all of this is my eating - and subsequent weight loss. I don't know about you - but I eat whenever there is any sort of emotion. The worry and stress of being halfway around the world during this was a bit much for me. I have also been trying to be strong for the hubster so he doesn't have to deal with a wife falling to pieces as well. Needless to say, nothing in the house was safe. Especially all of those delicious gluten laden goodies the kids brought back from H-Mart. (If you haven't been to a H-Mart - you need to. Quickly - like right now!)

And I kept up with my training program. I had to change out Wednesday's run for Thursday - but I kept going. And as corny as it sounds - knowing that Simpy couldn't run, and maybe never will again, kept me running. I have really taken my body for granted - this accident has changed so much. And I know that everyone says it - but until something happens close to you, you just nod and smile when people tell you that life isn't guaranteed.

So - go hug your babies. ALL of them - and make sure any of them riding m-bikes wear helmets (it saved Simpy's life). Then go and get sweaty running.

I'll let you know how I go on Friday.

Hugs
Meg

The Beginning....

...as Mary Poppins tells us, is a very good place to start!

So - I am Meg - a 42 year old stay at home Mum (Mom) with 2 adorables (17 and 10). I'm an Australian living in Denver, Colorado and this year have decided to start running. That's all thanks to Mama's blog.

Here I am - I forgot to take a photo of me before my workout this morning - but here I am in my comfy clothes. It's 5*F(-15*C) so we need to be warm. Let me tell you that I wont be going anywhere to impress today!

These jeans used to be pretty tight - now they are almost falling off - love it!!

My start weight! I am doing Weight Watchers and my weigh in day with them is on Fridays. But here is what it looks like this morning!

So the running bit? Because I had been following Mam's blog for a bit and saw how much she loved running, I thought that I would give the Couch to 5 k program a try. This morning was Week 3, day 1 (W3D1), and I am LOVING it! That was totally unexpected!

Up to now I have been doing a lot of Lesley Sansone's Walk at Home DVDs and loving them. But I just wanted to mix it up a bit - so that is where the C25k came in.

So that's about the size of it. I'm using this as a bit of a journal for my weight loss journey and as a bit of accountability! Would love to have you along for the ride!

Have a great day
Hugs
Meg