So - contrary to what the husband has recommended, I have spent a bit of time researching and reading about Desmoids.
He was right. It's not good for my head!
Needless to say that i have had a pretty crappy weekend. And I still haven't heard from my specialist. And that makes me even more crappier!
I've written out my list of questions to ask her, and it's getting longer the more that I read on the interwebs. I'm guessing it's time to stop!
My dreams have been filled with hair loss and operations - not very restful at all! And I haven't even been given the options of treatment yet.
Another thing that is confusing me (mostly from other blogs) is whether or not this thing IS cancer. SOme are saying yes and others are saying no. The Princess (18 year old daughter) had some words of wisdom for that this morning. "Well, it doesn't matter really does it? You know that it is not going to kill you and so all we can focus on is getting it out of you and treated. It doesn't change anything to put a label on it."
Smart girl.
But in the process of all of this stress, I have spent the majority of the day in bed with a migraine. Yay. And now I have a upset tummy. Double yay. Let me tell you - I am feeling all kinds of special today!!!!
Hugs
Meg
Monday, October 14, 2013
Saturday, October 12, 2013
It IS a tumor!!!!!
Ever seen Kindergarten Cop? That little kid that always thinks that things are a tumor? We love that and a huge joke in our house whenever anyone is in pain is that "It's a tumor"!
Well - this time it is!
It is actually a deep musculoaponeurotic fibromatosis. Yeah - I cant pronounce it either! Of course the first thing to do is to Google that sucker - and I think that this is a benign tumor also called a Desmoid tumor, very rare - lucky me! The husband is still debating whether it is a Desmond and of course until I hear back from the specialist I wont know for sure.
This is what I had thought it was the first time that I heard the specialist mention it. I think God was preparing me for this. It needs to be treated like a cancer because it is invasive and will continue to recur, but not metastasize which means it wont grow into other areas of the body. Yay!
I've spent so many hours on the interwebs looking up research and just over the past day or so have become obsessed with other people's blogs. The husband is concerned that I am getting obsessed with this - and I think that is probably true. But from what I can gather, this will be life changing for me, and us as a family.
And can I just say - I think that it's sucky that the specialist is taking her sweet time to get back to me. We have had the results for over a week now - way too much time for me to sit at the computer and find out all the horrid stuff that I might have to endure. My anxiety is, understandable, high and I think that is what is freaking the hubster out.
So - treatment varies so widely that I just cant get a handle on what we might do. Surgery is still a preferred treatment - but this sucker (Fred) has gotten a hold of two of my hamstrings and so I am not willing to go through with surgery only to have him grow back. SO I am thinking chemo and radiation - but we have to wait on this specialist.
So onto running news... I have kept up the running, but have kept my pace slow - really slow! Yesterday I did 3 miles on the treadmill at a pace between 12 and 12.5 minutes per mile, and that is pretty comfortable. The rest of the week I have kept it even slower at about 13.5 while I am outside. Just enjoying the runs.
This morning the son and I will be running a 5k that his school district is putting on. We ran together on Sunday and did the 5k's so that he would know what to expect. He needs a walk break about every quarter mile, so that makes it a very relaxed run for me. I love that we can do this together. Maybe it will become 'our' thing!
Hugs Meg
Well - this time it is!
It is actually a deep musculoaponeurotic fibromatosis. Yeah - I cant pronounce it either! Of course the first thing to do is to Google that sucker - and I think that this is a benign tumor also called a Desmoid tumor, very rare - lucky me! The husband is still debating whether it is a Desmond and of course until I hear back from the specialist I wont know for sure.
This is what I had thought it was the first time that I heard the specialist mention it. I think God was preparing me for this. It needs to be treated like a cancer because it is invasive and will continue to recur, but not metastasize which means it wont grow into other areas of the body. Yay!
I've spent so many hours on the interwebs looking up research and just over the past day or so have become obsessed with other people's blogs. The husband is concerned that I am getting obsessed with this - and I think that is probably true. But from what I can gather, this will be life changing for me, and us as a family.
And can I just say - I think that it's sucky that the specialist is taking her sweet time to get back to me. We have had the results for over a week now - way too much time for me to sit at the computer and find out all the horrid stuff that I might have to endure. My anxiety is, understandable, high and I think that is what is freaking the hubster out.
So - treatment varies so widely that I just cant get a handle on what we might do. Surgery is still a preferred treatment - but this sucker (Fred) has gotten a hold of two of my hamstrings and so I am not willing to go through with surgery only to have him grow back. SO I am thinking chemo and radiation - but we have to wait on this specialist.
So onto running news... I have kept up the running, but have kept my pace slow - really slow! Yesterday I did 3 miles on the treadmill at a pace between 12 and 12.5 minutes per mile, and that is pretty comfortable. The rest of the week I have kept it even slower at about 13.5 while I am outside. Just enjoying the runs.
This morning the son and I will be running a 5k that his school district is putting on. We ran together on Sunday and did the 5k's so that he would know what to expect. He needs a walk break about every quarter mile, so that makes it a very relaxed run for me. I love that we can do this together. Maybe it will become 'our' thing!
 |
| Should be a fun morning running with the son. |
Hugs Meg
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Lessons learnt from ald old man walking.
My biopsy is Wednesday. SO I needed to make sure that I can get all the running in that I can before then.
Well - run/walk. I've been having a bit of pain in my right calf, and so I had been doing more of the Galloway method of run - walk - run method. I set my Garmin to 2 minutes run and then 1 minute walk intervals and I set off. And that was how I had run my last two runs. It was better on my calf/shin so I thought that I would be so much better on Monday.
So Monday I had the Princess (why thanks - I know I don't look old enough to have an 18 year old!) to drop me off at the end of the trail about 6 miles from home. So I set off.
| Pretty, isn't it? I am loving Colorado in Autumn! |
Now for me, 12 1/2 minute miles are fast. I know - I'm slow! But remember that I've only been running since January. AND I'm still 50lbs overweight. So I'm trying not to be too hard on myself.
So of course I found it hard to do more than 2 miles. So I walked about half a mile and then walked a bit more - walked a bit and then hobbled for another half mile. This was so painful. My cadence was down and I was just plain hurting. So I walked another half mile to the next mile marker and decided that I would try the run/walk/run thing to at least get me home.
Enter the old man walking.
When I was walking - I was walking s.l.o.w. And I do mean slow! But as I finished my second little run, he passed me as I was walking. He was booking it. SO I thought "Why not try to keep up with him?" He was probably waling at about 14 1/5 minute per mile. Which is a nice slow pace to run at.
So - I did. And it felt great! Enter the AHA moment.
I have been running way too fast and way too far for where I am at. I have read a lot of training books, and blogs, and articles and yet I still managed to make one of the biggest rookie mistakes. Too fast and too long.
SO - lesson learnt. My runs will be a lot slower .. and today's was. I did my favourite 3 miles out and back. I forgot my Garmin so I have to guess at my time.But I took it nice and slow and if I had to guess I would say it was in the 14 - 14 1/2 minute range. My calf didn't scream at me and it felt great. SO if this is my last run for a while - I will have a great memory of it!
Hugs Meg
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